Dear Journal: 1/19/14

"All of the girls that you've run dry, have tired, lifeless eyes 'cause you burned them out, but I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don't look now... I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."
-Taylor Swift (Dear John)

In my last journal entry, I'm not sure if I gave the vibe of a heartbreak or not. The goal was just to give a hint of it. So, a fallout occurred. At 15, I had my first real boyfriend. I still manage to believe that peer pressure got between us. Then again, I guess that could be blamed on my optimism.

"Dear John" by Taylor Swift

Friday night, the rain was striking the ground, I was safe and sound. It was good, until he looked to the ground and words came out of his mouth: "It's not working out." It still kind of haunts me. I was in horror. Then by Saturday, I was in tears... Sunday it struck, I was furious. I was up on Saturday around 2 AM writing songs.

Monday is when everything started sinking it for real. I focused so hard on my school work. I got on the bus, my best friend asked about my weekend and I told her.

School work came first. There was no need to replay the pouring rain, the words, the treacherous path- any of it. Yeah, it hurts. Yeah, it's done. Yeah, it's over. It's nothing to be ashamed over. That night a fight was picked. I'm not even sure exactly what over. I still stand to believe the allies of the situation drowned the essence that was once shared. It was remorseful. I think when someone accuses you of something, that you didn't do, and there's no changing their mind... you should drop it. Let them think what they want to think. Let them paint their own pictures. It's obviously not worth even more pain than the original fallout.

On the bright side, my sister and I did some working out. We're getting ready for summer. I can't wait to go swim suit shopping!

Tuesday seemed like it was never ending. I woke up, put my makeup on, did my hair, and got dressed. I was out the door and ready to go. I got to school, did my thing. I stayed after school to help out with an after school activity. Then I came home and ate dinner. After that, I spent several hours devoting time to my English, Spanish, and math homework. Although, the math homework was nearly impossible.

Wednesday and Thursday are kind of a blur, if you ask me. They went by fairly quickly.

Friday was pretty good. There's a field trip coming up soon, so we were planning some of those details out. I'm super excited. We need a partner and my partner is my best friend. I am so thankful for him, he's been there for me through everything.

Friday night I went out to dinner with my best friend and window shopped. I had a lot of fun.

As for Saturday, I was extremely busy, thus the reason for not posting. I woke up pretty late. After that, my sister, my other friend, and myself went to a huge mall! We only got lost about 10 times, haha. I suppose that's a good thing. I've only gone with my parents before, so I didn't really know my way around on my own. Next time we go, it should be a little better.

I'll do a mini haul tomorrow. I only got 3 things. I should probably get a job or something, haha. My spending limits are going down and my desires are increasing.

After hours upon hours of shopping, I had a sleepover. We took a bunch of selfies and watched a movie. I'm supposed to hangout with my friends later on today, but I have some homework I have to do as well as work on some blogposts. 

"Timber" by Pitbull ft. Ke$ha

Thanks for reading! Xoxo,


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